No Soul in Sex

Warning - only read this if you already saw the movie or could care less to know what is going to happen, major spoilers follow.

Let's clear some things up before we start:
1. I know these are not real people
2. I don't care; it's my one and only form of escapism

For ten years I have been an avid, devoted fan of SATC. I loved everything about it, from the decadent and truly over the top fashions courtesy of the genius that is Pat Fields, the controversial, in your face topics, to the heartfelt story lines and relationships of the four women and the men they loved. As a young woman, with 12 years of Catholic schooling under my belt, it was the first time I realized that sex could be something women wanted, had and enjoyed without all the guilt that came with it. It showed how beautiful the power of female friendships really are, how we create family with the friends we surround ourselves with and that we are all bonded by our quest for love. One of my favorite quotes of all times comes from Carrie Bradshaw, who after moving to Paris to be with Alexander Petrovsky , realizes it was a mistake and says, "I am someone who is looking love, real love. Ridiculous. Inconvenient. Consuming. Can't-live-without-each-other love." I tear up every time I watch that final episode, delighted in the first movie and entered the latest installment with much enthusiasm. So it is with great disappointment I give you the following review.

The film opens with the fab foursome celebrating the wedding of Stanford and Anthony. In my world, nothing tops a gay wedding, and this one doesn't disappoint. A winter white wonderland equip with swans and Liza Minnelli. Life is good, until Anthony reveals that yes they are getting married but he is allowed to cheat. Ha, ha, very funny. But is it? The gay and lesbian community has been fighting for the right to get married like the rest of us, so I was puzzled that the film sort of celebrated the stereotype of the gay mans inability to stay monogamous. I'm not looking for political commentary, but it could have been handled differently, maybe with more respect.

Following the nuptials we see what the ladies have been up to. Samantha continues to run her successful PR business and is now in what can only be described as a personal fight to stay young. Not cancer free, which is never mentioned in the film, or to keep her clients in a slow economy. No, Samantha has turned to the wisdom and medical advice of Suzanne Somers to turn back the clock and is obsessed with pills and creams to stop the aging process. All very funny, and admittedly, I laughed at almost everything she said, but she lacked her usual intelligence and I thought it was a shame that the once liberated, powerful, trailblazing Samantha was turned into a bit of a buffoon.

Charlotte is still married to Harry and has her two girls, Lily and Rose. Lily is about five and Rose is in the terrible twos, crying all day, every day. Charlotte is keeping a brave face but becomes suddenly threatened when Samantha points out that their nanny is braless and bouncy, and it hasn't gone unnoticed by Harry. I really wanted to sympathize with how overwhelmed Charlotte's character is because any mom of two young kids knows how exhausting it can be and how you can sometimes flip out and then feel terrible. You want to feel bad but then they have Charlotte yell at Lily for getting red paint on her "vintage Valentino skirt" that she is wearing wear while making cup cakes. Seriously, I know this is fantasy, but come on. Anything vintage or Valentino in my closet is strictly limited to nights out - sans kids. Plus, she is unbelievably wealthy, doesn't have to work and has a live in nanny - if the rest of us had all that going for us, we could do this job with our eyes closed.

Miranda may be the only fun and truly likable character of the group. She and Steve have reconciled and still live in Brooklyn with Brady and Magda. She's conflicted with work, has the boss from hell and is guilt ridden that she doesn't spend enough time with Brady. You can tell she is exhausted and is getting to the place in life where she wants something to be a little easier, or wants some control back. After her boss dismisses her in a meeting and hands her case over to someone else, she quits, on the spot. BTW, Cynthia Nixon is gorgeous. Not sure what her secret is but the other ladies could learn from whatever regime she is on. She is the only actress of the four who gets better with age.

Finally, we find Carrie in her gorgeous Manhattan apartment living life in love with Big. However, within 5 minutes, she becomes unbelievably annoying, and needy. I have no idea what happened to the Carrie we know and love, but this one is almost unlikeable. Here's the deal. For 10 years we have watched her pine for Big. He is supposed to be the love of her life and 2 years into their marriage, she's bored. Really? Big wants to watch some TV in bed and would rather order in than go out, but he wants to do all this with her and she starts to act a bit like a spoiled brat. The story line is absurd because the audience knows that the Carrie of the past wanted that life with Big, now we are being told she doesn't.

So where do four conflicted women go when they need a break? The middle east of course. Samantha is invited to stay in Abu Dhabi to meet with a potential new client and invites the girls to travel with her. The level of extravagance leads to some very funny scenes, but the characters, except for Miranda, go off the deep end. The story line is ridiculous, Samantha is not allowed to bring her pills into the country and becomes insane, Charlotte cannot get a hold of Harry and assumes he is having an affair and not that perhaps it's because she’s in the Middle East and maybe, just maybe, it's not the best wireless network. And then there is Carrie, who after Big tells her he wants to get his own place for a couple days a week (note, this is only because she leaves and stays at her old apartment for the same amount of time) is all hurt feelings and runs into Aiden. Here's the simple version of what happened. They see each other in the spice market, they go out to dinner and they kiss for 30 seconds. B.F.D. Of course she flips out and IMO selfishly tells Big who is none too happy about the news.

The rest of the storylines are underdeveloped. For example, we find out Carrie gets a terrible review of her new book from the New Yorker, and then it's never really discussed again. There is a beautiful exchange between Miranda and Charlotte as Miranda tries to get Charlotte to open up about her stresses, it is one of the only glimpses we get of the bond the women have, then the thought is dropped by Carrie’s freak out over Aiden.

Before they leave a bunch of other nonsense happens, Samantha gets busted for having sex on the beach, they are thrown out of their hotel, Carrie loses her passport and they somehow end up in a backroom of the marketplace, surrounded by women in burqas, who revile underneath, they wear the latest designer threads. At this point I thought, for the love of God, make it stop.

The movie doesn't disappoint when it comes to eye candy. The men are still gorgeous; Mr. Big is, in fact, the perfect man. Combining classic good looks, intelligence and just enough mystery to keep us interested. He's grown up and very comfortable in is relationship - making Carrie's behavior all the more frustrating. And then there is the other form of eye candy ... the fashion. Pat Field’s ability to tell a story with fashion and her atheistic, while outrageous, has brilliance to it. Who else has the fashion nerve to pair a $2500 skirt with a $5 belt, and make it look so amazing?

I've never been to a movie before where I laugh the entire time and still feel disappointed at the end. I saw SATC2 Friday night and then early Saturday was folding laundry, flipping through some channels when I landed on the first movie. Like any good fan I watched the whole thing and it dawned on me, the first SATC was a beautiful story about the power of friendship, forgiveness and love. The second was merely an attempt to make a madcap adventure covered in couture which is sad because it could have been fantastic. It served the series and its first installment no justice. It let down the characters and in many cases the fans. The fans that religiously tuned in every Sunday night and flocked to the theaters hoping to catch up with some old friend.

Sometimes, a girl just needs reassurance

I have often marveled at how the universe drops something in my lap just when I need it. In this case it was my hubby handing me yesterday's USA Today. Laura Vanderkam wrote a fascinating article titled "Moms, part-time work is overrated." Vanderkam argues that women who work part-time vs. women who work full-time gain very little extra time with their families at the end of day. In addition, they may be hurting the family's financial health and their careers in the long run.

Let me backtrack for a moment. When my husband and I travel, our girls stay with my mom and dad, better known as "mom-mom" and "pop." It's a huge blessing for many reasons, mainly because we can go to work without having to worry about the welfare of our children and the big one - we don't have to pay for daycare. So this morning, Bri picked the kids up and Maddie was so happy to see me. I said, "Mads, are you happy to be home?" She answered, quickly, "No, I like it at Pops." Insert dagger in my heart. Let me be clear. I'm thrilled she loves her grandparents, and honestly, most days I would rather be hanging out with Pop, but given my constant guilt ridden state, this completely innocent comment sent me overboard.

Everyday, I question the point to all this. I'm exhausted, overworked and always guilty. The ebbs and flows of business wear on my nerves. I realize I am guilty for all sorts of weird things, most curiously, because I like my job. I am so guilty about that, like I am choosing my career over my kids when the only reason I work is so we can take the best care of them as possible. I just happen to enjoy what I do. Rationally I know this makes no sense, but I haven't been rational since Maddie was born.

I've always been an all or nothing kinda gal, so when I started Kristel Closets, Inc. I wasn't going to do it unless the plan was to be the best. What's the point if you're not? In my case, you can't be the best part time. So when my irrational brain started to think maybe I should do this part -time to create better "balance"this fabulous article was dropped in my lap.

The article is not intended for women who work part-time for extra cash, but more for women who work part time to keep their foot in the door of their career. Vanderkam states that in two-income families part time working mothers typically only spend 10 more minutes per day playing with their kids. It makes sense. Ask any young mother and she will tell you it takes just as long to get out of the house for an hour as it does for the entire day. (You still need to prep as if you are NEVER coming back.) Your commute is often the same, and a lot of times you are simply cramming 8 hours of work into 4 hours so when you get home you are still exhausted and fried.

So is it worth it? You gain 10 minutes - maybe an hour, but you somehow fall behind in your career. The kids will eventually be in school all day, have their own little social calendar and one day, God willing, they move out and live their own lives. Where does that leave us? We know it is easier to advance, which means higher pay therefore more options, if we are available. Someone who is available full-time vs someone who works part-time will almost always get more visibility. Let's not forget we are also competing with men, who, for whatever reason, are always available regardless of their responsibilities at home. There is no real clear answer, but certainly something to think about.

For me, I have come to realize that if I am going to leave the house for a meeting or to speak somewhere, I plan the entire day out of the house. Fragmented days just means nothing gets done. I've had to lower my expectation as to how much housework will actually get done, but don't tell my husband, and when I get home I turn off until the next morning so I end up being more engaged with the time I do have with the kids.

This article really helped me regain perspective. After I read it, I thought "see, I'm not crazy, this is what I've been thinking!" So if you're a working mommy trying to find some sort of balance it is worth considering Vanderkam's points. Especially if you run a business, you just won't make it doing it part time. As I put the article down, I glanced over to an affirmation card I wrote a few years ago after I called Gina Rubel, a good friend and mentor, in a state of new baby exhaustion. She said, "You take care of your family by working, that's how much you love them." And she's right, this is what works for me. Sometimes, a girl just needs some reassurance.