The Brat Effect

God I don't want to be raising a brat. I haven't stumbled upon a parenting book yet that clearly maps out how this is supposed to be accomplished. I fear my three year old has absolutely no fear, of anything, including me. She thinks nothing of questioning every decision I make, and I find myself, foolishly, explaining my reasoning to her. What is wrong with me? Whatever happened to "because I said so"? That's going to have to change.

It dawned on me the other day, Bri was in the family room watching the news, when Miss Maddie waltzed in and said, "Put my show on, I don't want to watch this." Ummm, would you have ever said that to your father when you were a kid? I'm thirty years old, and when my dad comes over, I still let him watch whatever he wants, because he is my dad.

I know this sounds like goofy kids stuff. Hopefully, that is all it is. Hopefully, my broken record of say please, say thank you, be kind, share, don't hit your dog, don't put post-it notes on your sister, will one day sink in. Hopefully, it won't fall on deft ears.

My fear, however, is that of any working mom. Is this my fault because I work? Is she acting out because she is subconsciously angry at my absence? Is the schedule I put myself on and the demands of the company seeping into my family life? If so, what the hell am I suppose to do? Not work?

On top of all of these guilt laden fears is the undeniable reality that my kids will have access to privileges I didn't know existed when I was growing up. I don't worry about it so much now, but the fear is in the back of my mind, especially when we talk about where to send them to school. We are fortunate to be able to give them the best education possible. But in a world where iPhones and Wiis are bought as favors for Bar Mitzvahs, and grade school kids carry designer handbags - how do you keep your kids good, kind and humble without them hating you for not helping them keep up with the Joneses?? How do you teach them where mommy and daddy came from? That by our sheer will and hard work they have the lives they have so there will be no entitlement tolerated.

This brings me back to the issue at hand. I really believe that the foundation of their little lives are shaped right now. I believe in order to be good, kind and humble they need to learn it from the start. I've started doing little things, like talking to Maddie about why I volunteer and why it is important to help people in our community. I'm just starting to give her money in her piggy bank - a whole $.50 if she gets all of her responsibility stars each week, then we give a little bit away to help others each month. She barely understands, but I think the dialog is helpful.

I'm probably over thinking this, like I do everything else. I just want to be the best mom possible for my girls. So until someone writes the ultimate, fail safe guide to parenting, I'm going to keep working, be a broken record, lead by example, pray really hard, and have a big fat glass of wine every night.

Cheers!