You'll Spend More Time With Your Kids

I'm fascinated when I hear women tell me they are starting a business because they want to spend more time with their kids. I wonder if they found the extra 12 hours in the day we have all been searching for. Unless they have, it's not going to happen. Amongst the numerous reasons not to start a business, this is my number one.

First, it screams of a lack of understanding as to what is actually required of you to run a start up. Even in women centric home based businesses a la Mary Kay, the women who earn the big bucks work for it, all the time, every day. When my company, Kristel Closets, Inc. first started, I hit 3 networking events a day, met everyone and their mother for a coffee, and worked for free (yup, that's how it works). Clients don't just knock on your door, you have to go find them ... and you can't take your kids with you.

You see, while you love your kids and think they are fascinating, your business partners, clients and colleagues don't care so much. Are the kids sick? Oh well. Did you not sleep? Not their problem. When it's your business, when you are only paid when you work, there is no calling out sick. You are managing two different lives. Your kids don't care that you have a business, your business doesn't care that you have kids and it's your job - on top of everything else - to treat each as if they are the only and most important thing in your life.

There are three keys to making it work:

1. Create a system and follow it: It takes some time to find out what will work for you so try some different things out. Once you know what you need, stick with it, when you go off plan the whole system fails and you waste valuable time getting it back up. My husband and I sit down with our planners months in advance and map out our work and travel days. Once it's set, it's set, there is no changing days. We went off the schedule once and it was a debacle.

2. Find your support system: It's so important to surround yourself with other like minded people, it keeps you relatively sane, like you're not the only one with this idea. Beyond just emotional support you need people who will help take care of your kids. We are fortunate to have very active parents in our lives. My parents help take care of the girls most days and are more than happy to have them for an overnight. Brian's parents will help on weekends, even if it is just for a few hours so we can have a quick date night. Maybe you hire a nanny or have close group of girlfriends who can help. Whoever it is, take the help where ever you can get it.

3. Own your choices. You'll never hear me complain about our situation. I do believe I am privileged to own a business, but it comes a cost. I didn't get a maternity leave with Maddie, the business was just too new. I made the choice to go back to works a couple weeks after having her. It was during that time I met some of the most amazing women, my advocates, who quickly turned into mentors and friends. I had to give up the maternity leave for the opportunity to surround my daughters with positive, powerful, inspiring women. I found my own way to bond with Maddie and she has these amazing "aunts." I wouldn't go back and change it. On the flip side, I often skip social events that could connect me to more industry contacts to stay home and watch a movie with the kids. It's all about the choices you make.

So, if all this still sounds like a good idea, go for it. You are showing your kids that they are able to do anything, you are teaching them first hand the principles our country was founded on, and you'll provide for them the life you always wanted them to have. Just be okay with guilt being a daily part of your life, for always being conflicted, and constantly second guessing your choices. As long as my kids are proud of me, I know I'm making the right one.